Attention K-Mart shoppers:
We would like to direct your attention
to our current blue-light special in the
sporting goods department---
All the ammo you can carry in one hand
for just $9.99. Don't wait. Stock up now.
Attention all prospective car buyers:
Now is the time to push, pull, drag, or drive
your old wreck to your nearest Hummer dealer---
We are having an unauthorized, previously
unadvertised sale on the Deluxe Macho Edition
HumVee. Personal body armor sold separately.
Attention all residents of the continental United States:
We are having an unprecedented shipping on
Inter Continental Ballistic Missles. This is the last
and only three minute warning you will receive. No
preparation is needed. No escape is possible. Just
pick up your cellphone and say goodbye.
by Debberae Streett